Less than 24 hours after the retirement of long-time captain Tim Duncan, the Spurs have collapsed into a roster of whining, anti-authority punks.
Duncan has long been the moral center of the team and the embodiment of the franchise’s famously altruistic, team-first system. But insiders are surprised at the speed with which his departure has created a vacuum filled by acrimony, bitching and general diva behavior.
“All the sudden, Manu is texting about wanting more shots and Kawhi is demanding a trade,” said one team insider. “All these guys are usually so thoughtful and polite. Tony Parker just told the front office to fire Popovich.”
Team sources say the Spurs can still regain their form as the most well run machine in the NBA, although they acknowledged that all the team’s players have launched holdouts to demand more lucrative contracts.