Jeff Fisher is the head coach for the Los Angeles Rams. Carson Wentz is a rookie quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. Jeff Fisher is a 58-year-old father of three. Carson Wentz is a 23-year-old who’s been known to tweet about dogs.

So why is Jeff Fisher messaging Carson Wentz on Facebook at 3 in the morning? And why do his messages include so many hearts?

“I like having pen pals, OK? Can’t I have pen pals?” said Fisher, growing defensive. “Carson’s not my only pen pal, you know. I have other pen pals too. Paxton Lynch is my pen pal. Dak Prescott is my pen pal. And Jacoby Brissett is gonna be my pen pal, but I’m gonna wait for him to poke me back first.”

Sources indicate that Jared Goff has asked to be Jeff Fisher’s pen pal, but Fisher declined and told Goff to “act like an adult.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.