Every year, around this time, NBA teams leak like a colander. We know this, yet we can’t help ourselves from diving headlong into the minefield of trade rumors and gossip.
To truly figure out what will happen at this year’s hotly anticipated NBA Trade Deadline, we went straight to the source: an American politician with an unimpeachable record of honesty and straightforwardness with her constituents.
We spent the bulk of our recent three-day weekend poring over literally thousands of Hillary Clinton’s now-public emails. And what we found will absolutely leave you floored:
We found nothing of substance related to basketball.
There was a passing mention of attending a Knicks game during a recent trip to New York, but she apparently spent most of the game entertaining a foreign delegate from France or Somalia. We stopped reading that one, honestly, because it had nothing to do with sports.
During on heated exchange, she made reference to “a large transaction with the tall Russian,” and we were pretty sure she was talking about Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov. She wasn’t.
We’ll just have to rely on basketball reporters, I guess?