After a stellar Game 1, the Warriors’ 8-person bench enters Game 2 tonight with new endorsement contracts, A-list girlfriends and many other trappings of their newfound fame.

Nike yesterday named Golden State’s bench collectively as the face of its new apparel line. And this afternoon, the Warriors’ reserves arrived together at Oracle Arena in their new 8-person SUV-limo, flanked by their imposing new entourage and 8 new girlfriends.

Festus Ezeli and the 7 other Warriors reserves reportedly earned millions of dollars in endorsements and speaking fees since Game 1. (Getty)

Festus Ezeli and the 7 other Warriors reserves reportedly earned millions of dollars in endorsements and speaking fees since Game 1. (Getty)


“You see this all the time: a guy — or an 8-person unit — hits it big on a big stage and then they get a little too addicted to the spotlight,” said one veteran NBA observer. “Coach Kerr has to be a little concerned.”

In a joint statement, the Warriors’ bench said it has maintained “absolute focus” on the NBA Finals, and also directed fans to check out the new hip-hop single it released yesterday, “See You In the Second Quarter (Bench Anthem)”.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.