“This was not an easy decision,” begins Dwayne Wade’s letter to the Associated Press, outlining his decision to leave the Heat. “But, I’m finally going home to Chicago…and a huge pile of cash.”

The Bulls signed Wade to a two-year deal worth $47 million, which breaks down to just over 560 times the median income for a household in Chicago.

Serving as a guest host on “Live With Kelly” Wade reminisced about his time in South Beach. “Nothing could ever replace the 13 amazing years I had in Miami, except maybe being able to fill a gigantic vault with money and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck,” Wade said.

Friends and family of Wade’s have expressed their excitement that the “little boy” they watched grow up will finally be able to return home, and “paper the streets of Chi-town with some of that stupid NBA dough.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.