Struggling to complete the 12-man roster for the upcoming Olympic games, the US Basketball team launched a reality show to fill the last few roster spots.

With some of the more high-profile players dropping out, the USA Basketball Board of Directors stated they were worried Americans would lose interest in the games.

“We’re hoping to get the right mix of basketball, national pride, and alcohol-fueled drama,” said USA head coach Mike Krzyzewski.


Athletes will compete for one of the 12 spots in various ways, including eating gross food, fighting through an American Gladiator style gauntlet, and making out with Verne Troyer. Oscar Robertson, Scottie Pippen, and Paula Abdul have signed on to judge.

According to a press release for the reality show: “Kevin Durant, Draymond Green, and DeMarcus Cousins are just some of the NBA players who will be living alongside ‘Regular Joe’s’ and ‘Olympic Wannabes’ for six weeks, to find out who has what it takes to be a ‘Team USA Baller’.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.