Ultimate Frisbee prospect Jason “J-Bone” Rittenour actually moved up several rounds in the Ultimate Frisbee League Draft after a video of him allegedly smoking marijuana in a gas mask surfaced online.
“We had him pegged as a mid- to late-third rounder,” said Brody “Choady” Millskin, general manager of the Cedar Rapids Lasers. “But someone with the guts to stand up to an imperialist government that harshes our mellow for medicinal weed like that, we had to, like, pounce on him, bro.”
Millskin, upon further questioning, clearly had zero idea about the definition of the word imperialist.
As if the day couldn’t get any better for Rittenour, the University of Oregon senior also admitted to accepting money in exchange for working in his school bookstore, something that further endeared him to the frisbee elite.
“Yeah we had practice like two to three hours a week, so I thought I should also get a job,” Rittenour told Recreation magazine.
Rittenour will now reportedly sign a three-year contract worth $38,000 dollars per year, instead of the contract he was projected to earn, worth $12,000 over 6 years.