To combat the rising tide of fan violence, European soccer officials have begun luring hooligans into temporary jail cells using specially made “beer sticks.”
The sticks, which resemble hobo bindles with a glass of beer dangling on the end, debuted today after Russia’s surprising loss to Slovakia. Russian fans charged opposing fans and sparked violence during the country’s weekend match with Britain.
“There is no place for violence in our stadiums and these enticing beer sticks are designed to prevent that,” UEFA said in a release. “Stadium officials will be using them to lure drunkards into secure holding pens, sort of like herding belligerent cattle.”
UEFA officials said that should the beer sticks prove ineffective, they are working on a new strategy of giving each hooligan his own blow-up doll and playpen where he can fight and tucker himself out.