Billionaire presidential hopeful Donald Trump inducted UFC president Dana White into the exclusive “Billionaire A-Hole Club” at a private ceremony over taco bowls at Trump Tower Grill.

“We’ve wanted him in this group for a long time, but he wasn’t a true B-Man,” said Redskins owner Dan Snyder. “However, once he pulled that crap about making Conor McGregor stop training so he could film a bunch of dumb promos in Vegas, we knew he was a shoo-in.”


White had previously been nothing more than a hard-working UFC president worth mere hundreds of millions of dollars. But in the months leading up to the unprecedented $4 billion sale of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, White upped his a-hole credentials with a series of increasingly controlling measures to make sure his hard-working fighters could not earn maximum money.

For his tremendous work as a true Billionaire A-Hole, White was hugged by Donald Sterling and the Koch Brothers, and given the home address of every mean internet commenter so he can royally mess with their taxes.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.