10) Dirk Nowitzki, Mavericks: Work up the nerve to pitch Mark Cuban on business idea: Nowitz-skis – Skis for Tall German Men.
9) Amar’e Stoudemire, Heat: Have a bigger role in Trainwreck 2: I Kneed You.
8) Russell Westbrook, Thunder: Apologize to all the rims he’s hurt.
7) Gilbert Arenas, Shanghai Sharks: Launch line of tasteful men’s basketball thongs.
6) Tim Duncan, Spurs: Send gift basket to voodoo aging specialist in Virgin Islands.
5) Kristaps Porzingis, Knicks: Finally take that trip to the Times Square Olive Garden with Melo that they’ve been talking about for months.
4) Rajon Rondo, Kings: Glare at some more refs.
3) Jason Kidd, Bucks: Say “Sorry, “I’m not sorry.” to the Nets.
2) James Harden, Rockets: Finally make that cake.
1) Steph Curry, Warriors: Wake up from three months of being utterly unconscious.