Professional golfer Tiger Woods is reportedly working his way back from injury towards PGA play by rehabilitating his golf game at Cap’n Johnny’s 18-Holes Pirate Mini Golf Adventure, where he is promised to have a “whale of a time,” according to the scorecard he was handed when he paid the $7 entrance fee.

Sources indicate that Woods has opted to use the blue ball.


Woods was paired with a fiercely competitive foursome of Greg Bilder, age 46, who has “not played mini golf in years” but “used to all the time,” as well as Bilder’s children Toby (8) and Lilly (7), who fought hard against Woods for control of the coveted red ball before, according to witnesses, their father said, “Okay, no one gets to use the red ball, happy now?”

Woods birdied the first three holes, before a triple-bogey on the fourth hole, in which he mistakenly hit his ball into Blackbeard’s Cove and French Fry Stand, knocked him out of the lead.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.