Seventeen years after Wayne Gretzky retired, has the NHL found its next “Great One”? And is that “Great One” 19-year-old Maple Leafs rookie Auston Matthews? We’re not sure, but Matthews keeps asking us to call him “The Great One” so, well, there.

Matthews four-goal debut was impressive! Impressive enough to hold him in the same regard as a man who holds 60 all-time NHL records? Probably not. But, it’s a catchy nickname, and Matthews is a charming enough kid that we’ll play along.

“Call me The Great One!” said Matthews, after scoring his fourth goal of the night.

“Um, OK, sure,” said everyone in attendance.

It truly is amazing what one can be called simply by asking for it. But don’t ask us to call you “Air Jordan”, Auston. That’s the wrong sport. Or “Dad”. Just makes us kind of uncomfortable, you know.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.