After quitting football to pursue baseball full-time, and then quitting baseball after about a week because the whole thing was so clearly a farce, multi-sport phenom Tim Tebow walked across the water to an easy victory in his new chosen sport, swimming.

“I watched swimming during the Olympics, and I thought ‘why go into the water, wouldn’t that just increase your drag?'” Tebow noted after breaking the world record in the 200-meter freestyle by nearly 36 seconds. “I know personally I can walk way faster than I can swim.”

Barely winded after defeating the world’s greatest swimmers in his first-ever professional race, Tebow turned right back around and won the 400-meter individual medley in world record time. “I don’t think even J.C. ever jogged across the water,” Tebow joked before really regretting it.

Once Tebow feels he has had enough photo opportunities in the pool, he will likely move on to either cricket or downhill skiing. He hasn’t attempted either sport before in his life, but “fudge it,” the sunny 29-year old said.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.