Boarding the long flight home to Carolina, a visibly shaken Cam Newton was seen checking the overhead bin for a lurking Von Miller.

“You guys made sure to check in both bathrooms too, right?” asked Newton, who was harassed all Sunday by the Denver defensive end. “That guy is a monster. He could be anywhere; he’s quick.”

Miller, who forced two critical Newton fumbles during yesterday’s game, had clearly gotten into the Carolina quarterback’s head. Newton had his offensive line stand guard while he showered off, and he also bolted from his post-game interview, thinking he saw Miller in the shadows.


Von still haunts Cam (Getty)

Von still haunts Cam (Getty)

“Alright, I need someone to come sit over here on my right hand side. No, not you Mike [Remmers], no offense,” said the once confident QB. “I need someone I can depend on so I can feel comfortable watching a movie.”

Upon arrival in Carolina, the team sent a security detail home with Newton to check his closet and underneath the bed for the presence of Miller. They made sure to leave the hall light on and the door cracked open when they left, assuring Newton they would be right downstairs.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.