Eagles quarterback (for now) Sam Bradford was reportedly peeved to find out his team had traded for the number two overall pick, ostensibly to select a new quarterback and send him to the bench. Bradford’s frustration only intensified when, according to several witness, the fit he threw was picked off and returned 85 yards for a touchdown.

“How disrespectful can they be, making me find out about this at the same time as everyone else!” shouted Bradford as he watched an opposing strong safety snatch his rant out of the air and begin shaking would-be tacklers on his way to pay-dirt.

Just not your day, Sam (Getty)

Just not your day, Sam (Getty)


Bradford, visibly seething through his helmet, then calmed down, and with the help of his agent, pitched the Eagles several potential trade options. Those trade options were then also intercepted and taken down to the five-yard line.

Utterly defeated, Bradford lobbed several parting insults at members of the Eagles front office whom he believed to have been less than forthright about the whole trade process. Those insults were tipped into the air by a particularly tall lineman, recovered before hitting the ground, and carried the length of the field for a game-ending defensive score.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.