Oookay. I can’t be the only person that saw that, right? Those picture of me on the news-thing were, like, totally moving. How is that possible? Is it magic?

Did you dudes see that? My lawyer came through the house the other day and was all like, “Ryan, they know what happened at the gas station. Turn on the tv. Why did you lie? Blah blah blah.”

And I’m like “harsh, Ted!” But then I was like, “whoah! I’m on the tv…like, moving and stuff.” I didn’t even know I had one of those optical illusion tv’s. I thought it was a Sony. But then Ted the lawyer said “That’s actually you, Ryan.”

And I was like, “No way! How’d you do that, Ted?”

And then Ted was like, “You’re in a lot of trouble, Mr. Lochte,” and totally bounced. Haha, magic is awesome. I’m going in the pool now.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.