Spartan Race co-founder Joe Desena broke the exciting news at a local CrossFit gym: “Racers have long battled brutal, but totally inanimate obstacles like the Barbed Wire Crawl, the Hercules Hoist, and the Spear Throw; now, they will be able to engage in live hand-to-hand combat with a true warrior – Ronda Rousey.”

The news was met by a mixed reception from competitors. One racer, John Hansen, said, “I’ve been working hard on my Tire Drag, but I’m not sure I can fit in enough Muay Thai training to pass Ronda Rousey.”

Another race veteran, Brody Walsh, expressed confidence before losing a limb to a vicious Rousey arm bar in the testing phase for the obstacle.


One innovative competitor has invested in full body camouflage, hoping to evade the confrontation all together.

Floyd Mayweather, an avid racer, is reported to have dropped out of an upcoming event upon hearing about the new Rousey obstacle.

 

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.