Steph Curry’s rough night went from bad to worse when he arrived at his Walnut Creek home only to be greeted by his daughter Riley, who immediately sent the two-time league MVP to his room.

Riley, who repeatedly warned Steph not to fuck this up for her, told the single-season three-point record holder that he is not to leave his room until he’s fully thought about what he’s done.

“The media backlash has been harsh,” Steph told reporters via handwritten letter, because Riley had taken away all phone, computer, and Xbox privileges for the night. “But that’s nothing compared to the cold shoulder Riley’s been giving me. This lady don’t play, man.”


Despite Steph’s repeated pleas for Riley to let him to go play with his friends Harrison and Klay, the three-year-old daughter of two has told Steph that his friends will have to “go on missing key late-game three-pointers without him.”

Sources within the Curry home report that Steph’s dinner – a sweet potato soufflé lovingly prepared by his wife Ayesha – would have to go cold.

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