Cleveland!!! What’s up! It’s your starting quarterback, Robert Griffin III. I’m out of D.C. and ready to play for the best city in the world! For about two or three seasons before I go somewhere else!

Look Cleveland fans, I know the Browns don’t always have the best luck. They’ve never won a championship. But until 2016, neither had the Cavaliers, right? So, I want to make this promise right now: I’m going to do for Cleveland what LeBron did – give you my best for a couple years, then abruptly leave. Let’s do this!

I know it’s not always going to be easy. Building a team from one of the NFL’s worst to a Super Bowl contender takes a while. It might take years. But you have my guarantee: I will be around for two or three of those years. And I will work hard every day to bring this team from the bottom to somewhere in the middle. We might even make the playoffs! Who knows what incredible things could happen before I leave or suddenly get traded?

LeBron is a Cleveland hero. He’s the model for what I’m hoping to accomplish here. He gave you several great years before he left Cleveland’s fried food and cold winters for the non-stop bikini party of Miami, and I hope to do that too. I’m going to put my time in, and be as much a part of this city as I can before the day inevitably comes where you’ll never see me again. You have word on this. Thanks.

Your man,

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.