According to team sources, one unnamed Houston Rocket has demanded–oh, who are we kidding, it’s Dwight Howard.

The demands made by this player are but the latest sign of tension in the Houston locker room. The source declined to name the player due to the sensitivity of the matter, although, let’s be real, he was talking about Dwight Howard.

That's Dwight Howard under that shirt. We're talking about Dwight Howard. (Getty)

That’s Dwight Howard under that shirt. We’re talking about Dwight Howard. (Getty)


“When he made this demand, the player–who everyone knows is Dwight Howard–framed it as an ultimatum,” the source said.

The source declined to detail what specifically the player-who-is-Dwight-Howard demanded, although it was to be traded, duh.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.