Though much can be made of Real Madrid’s recent form, the highest-paid team in the world’s concerns currently lie elsewhere – with finding the perfect gifts for their famed Secret Santa program.

With salaries that run upwards of €18 million per year, the Blancos players decided to keep things small scale this Christmas with a strict €25K cap. Still, many players are reportedly having trouble finding gifts that mean something “at such low cost.”

Toni Kroos, who is rumored to have picked Sergio Ramos for Secret Santa, apparently came across a beautiful Hermès jacket. Unfortunately, the jacket ran closer to €60K, so the German midfielder was forced to move on.

Similarly, James Rodriguez saw a platinum pendant with the letters “CR7” engraved in it, but at €125K, it was far out of the Secret Santa price range. “I guess I’ll just go to Old Navy and buy him some pants?” groaned the Colombian.


This year’s Secret Santa is players-only, as last year became dicey when Carlo Ancelotti bought bigger gifts than he was allowed and created a rift in the dressing room. Though the players claim that isn’t the reason for his departure from the club, it certainly may not be far from the truth.

“I’m not saying I was that upset by it, but honestly, there’s a limit for a reason,” said Gareth Bale, the Real Madrid winger. “Carlo made us all look cheap, and we didn’t want to run into drama again.”

When asked who he chose and what he bought them, Bale just grinned and made his trademark heart sign with his hands. As he walked away, however, a diamond necklace with the same heart symbol fell from his pocket. He scrambled to pick it up.

“Shh!!!” he added.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.