During an unannounced raid last night, police were shocked to find an oil canvass painting of Steph Curry’s aging ankles in the attic of the reigning MVP’s home.
“[The painted ankles] were decaying, falling apart,” said Walnut Creek Police Chief Lyman Ortega. “But after seeing how Steph has played the last few years since being diagnosed with ‘chronic’ ankle problems, the dots are starting to connect.”
Commissioned by a local Wiccan artist who goes by the moniker Solstize, the painting is entitled The Portrait Of Stephen Curry’s Ailing Joints. Theoretically, the erosion of the ankles in the paintings would free the real-life Steph up to have a Hall of Fame career, free of injuries and the advancement of age.
Nicknamed the ‘Baby-faced Assassin’ for his boyish appearance, Steph Curry has aroused suspicion of all local police forces, who are currently searching for at least six other supernatural paintings portraying different parts of Curry’s body.