After weeks of speculation, Knicks president Phil Jackson has finally named the team’s head coach for the 2016-17 season: “the whole community, baby.”
“They say it takes a village to raise a child, so why wouldn’t the same be true for a Triangle Offense, you dig?” scatted Phil Jackson from his new age yoga studio. “New York City is a community, and the Knicks are a part of that tradition. This idea fits like a glove, or if you’re not into wearing clothes, that’s cool too.”
The proposed plan will feature a rotating cast of municipal worker, community organizers, school superintendents, and local business owners taking 12-minute shifts for every Knicks home game. Each co-coach will receive a personalized book, chosen by Jackson to best exercise their “mind’s eye.”
For away games, the team will be coached by the children of the “hardworking Americans who scraped and saved to buy their tickets,” per Jackson.
Interim coach Kurt Rambis will continue on as the team’s assistant coach.