In case you didn’t know, the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl last year. In case you forgot, the Patriots decided to throw an impromptu Super Bowl celebration before their game against the Indianapolis Colts.

The Sunday night matchup is in Indianapolis. As such, the Patriots have hired Boston party planner extraordinaire Phyllis Kennedy. Her and Robert Kraft held a joint press conference to announce the event.


“We bought out the pahkin’ for all of lot G,” explained Kennedy. “We have a stage all set for Tom, Bill, and the Dropkick Murphys. We had a banner made that reads: ‘Super Bowl Champions. Forever.’ As people enter, we’ll hand them fake Super Bowl rings and megaphones. We’ll be wicked obnoxious, bring a little Bahston culture to Indy.”

When asked why the Patriots would choose to host a 2014 Super Bowl celebration in the middle of the season and at a rival stadium, Kraft said, “Who said it’s in honor of last year’s Super Bowl?” He then abruptly ended the press conference with a totally subtle wink and a mic drop.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.