2016 Kentucky Derby champion Nyquist is set to become the first equine participant on the popular reality show contest, “Dancing With The Stars.”

The show has always welcomed professional athletes, including Hines Ward, Apolo Anton Ohno, and Lucky, the stand-in dog from Air Bud: Golden Receiver.


“Nyquist has mastered the Foxtrot, although he had to spend several weeks unlearning his Horse trot!” joked Nyquist trainer Doug O’Neill to a group of hauntingly silent media members.

Nyquist has reportedly sent several taunting texts to Triple Crown winner American Pharoah, who was too busy having so much sex it was unseemly to check his phone. Also, his hooves cannot make the touchscreen work, reportedly.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.