As kneeling during the national anthem before athletic contests becomes more and more trendy around the nation, Nike has capitalized on the business opportunity by releasing their new “Just Protest It” kneepads.

“We want to show that protesting is not just for millionaires, the way most people believe,” said Michael Spillane, Nike’s President of Product & Merchandising division.

Many are calling this new product an opportunist’s attempt to profit off of the horrifying incidents of police brutality that led to Colin Kaepernick’s original protest. “But that is absolutely not the case,” Spillane said. “We felt we had a moral responsibility to help Americans express their First Amendment rights in comfort. That’s why we’re releasing this right before the Christmas gift-buying rush.”


“Now available in Modell’s and Foot Locker,” he added, somewhat solemnly.

Onlookers could not be sure, but reports indicate that Nike executives were seen softly muttering “ka-ching!” to themselves as they left the press conference smirking.

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