Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage has come forward with a plan to recover a sacred basketball artifact through an elaborate treasure hunt inspired by the previously unexplained social media musings of NBA star LeBron James.
“It’s all so clear!” Cage shouted as he ran off the set of his latest movie without telling anyone. “How has no one seen this before?
Cage began by analyzing the grammatical abnormalities of James’ subtweet “U can’t accomplished the dream if everyone isn’t dreaming the same thing.”
“U, as in the letter U, as in University, which LeBron did not attend,” mused Cage. “However, there is a college in Akron, as in “U can’t akronplished the dream,” a word later in the tweet!”
“Now, what else happened in Akron?” Cage wondered aloud.
When reached for comment, James finally put a stop to the insanity by admitting that he’s just throwing a ton of shade at Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love.