Because nearly half of the players originally voted into this year’s Pro Bowl have elected not to participate, the NFL has taken the unprecedented measure of allowing players to compete either in person or by video call.

“Given the digital nature of today in addition to many players’ fears of injury, we feel it most feasible for players to Skype in,” said commissioner Roger Goodell. “We’d also like to thank Apple for supplying more than four dozen laptop computers, which will all certainly be destroyed by Eli Manning’s errant throws.”

Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald has already agreed to Skype in from Malaysia. The league denied Rob Gronkowski’s request to join via Snapchat, out of fear that his footage wouldn’t be family friendly.


“This isn’t the NFL I played in, that’s for sure,” said team captain Michael Irvin, who still owns a Nokia phone.

Pro Bowl ratings are expected to hit an all-time high.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.