We’ve got questions about these Spurs. You don’t have to answer. Truthfully, no one should take the time to answer.

Has LaMarcus Aldridge been standing on his tippy toes this entire time?

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If true, this may mean that the Spurs’ big man isn’t such an imposing physical presence after all. Or does it? After all, it’s not the size that matters. It’s the size after you stand on your tippy toes.

Could the current Spurs roster defeat an average high school soccer team at baseball?


(via Shutterstock)

Sure, they’re a collection of some of the world’s best athletes. But a high school soccer team spends day after day playing soccer, and therefore would not necessarily be well equipped to beat the Spurs at baseball. Unless, of course, it’s a high school soccer team full of kids that also play baseball. Then we’re talking.

Does Tim Duncan go back to Wake Forest for reunions (or at least the big ones)?

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Yeah, it’d be weird if Tim Duncan showed up to a five-year reunion. No one goes to those. But after ten years? Twenty? He surely has lots of classmates off in the world doing cool stuff. Like, tech companies. Probably some people have started tech companies. Wouldn’t he want to show up and find out?

Did Manu Ginobili and Lionel Messi used to be roommates?

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They’re from the same country, you know. It’s possible. Definitely possible.

How would Pau Gasol look with dreads?

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Maybe like a tall Riff Raff? Yeah. Let’s go with tall Riff Raff.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.