With some exciting new roster acquisitions, Knicks fans can’t wait for the upcoming NBA season. Of course, plenty of questions remain. Will Derrick Rose stay healthy? Will Joakim Noah bring toughness and stability to the frontcourt?
Those questions are fine. But we prefer these:
What does Kristaps Porzingis order at Shake Shack?
I’m thinking shackburger with extra shack sauce, cheese fries, and a strawberry shake. That sounds like a lot, but Kristaps is really tall.
Will Walt Frazier finally attempt a new rhyming scheme?
I’m no poet, but this is ridiculous. Stoppin’ and poppin’? Wheelin’ and dealin’? We’re not children, Walt. If you can’t handle anything more complex, stick to prose.
Will Madison Square Garden start to incorporate Penn Station a little more?
The buildings are literally connected! And people love both of them! Throw a track entrance on center court, let train conductors ref! Something!
Will a real Zen master finally challenge Phil Jackson?
Cuz I know it’s his nickname and everything… but I’m pretty sure a legit Buddhist monk from China could scout just as well, if not better.
What fuzzy garment will Spike Lee wear this time?
Last year he wore a fuzzy hat a lot. The year before it was a fuzzy top. I’m thinking this year he goes fuzzy pants. Actually, on second thought, lots of people are asking this.