During a recent spring training game, MLB umpires huddled up to review when the heck Opening Day is.

“Let me start off by saying I honestly have no f***ing idea,” said plate umpire Eric Cooper. “I’ve been in the league 17 years, and I’m at a loss.”

Each umpire gathered in the infield put on their best pensive and concerned face, lending gravitas to the huddle.

“Alright fellas, what do we know for sure? Let’s think about this logically,” ventured third-base umpire Tripp Gibson. “For one, we know it’s not today, since we’re doing a Tigers/Braves game in Florida. So, there’s that.”

“I know there are three real games tomorrow… So, that’s Opening Day, right?” asked left-field umpire Ed Hickox. “But then what about the rest of the teams? If there are more openers the following day does Sunday get overtaken by Monday as the real Opening Day?”

The umpires concluded the huddle by deciding they better just get on the phone to the replay center in New York for confirmation.

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