Step right up folks! Let the magical, fantastical Mr. Wilson dazzle you with his Seahawk-tastical Recovery Water! Watch as he makes a concussion disappear before your very eyes! Behold the glory of hydration, as it heals even the goriest of injuries. And yes, these powers can be YOURS for the low, low price of $2.99 per bottle!

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.