Following an unfortunate on-field Arizona Fall League debut, but a miraculous interaction with a fan experiencing a seizure after the game, the Mets announced they would be transitioning Tim Tebow from outfielder to “designated healer.”

“To me, managing a baseball team is all about finding the right pieces to make a puzzle,” said Tom Goodwin, manager of the Scottsdale Scorpions. “For Tim, the puzzle pieces add up to more of a spiritual guide, or religious sherpa, than they do ball player.”


Tebow seemed to be taking the position change well. “I just want to do what’s best for the team. If that means not actually playing baseball, and turning in my jersey like the coaches recommended, I’ll do it.”

The Mets have confirmed that Tebow will be healing fans two hours before and after each game, and “definitely not doing anything team-related during.”

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