In need of some truly wicked revenge on the Dodgers’ Chase Utley, the Mets have turned to bounty prankster Logan Brinkley.

“This is a tough case,” said the devious 10-year-old, “but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge.” The pranking legend estimated he could deposit a fake tarantula in Utley’s locker without too much trouble. “I bet he’d scream like a little girl.”

Brinkley was seen in the Mets clubhouse muttering to himself as he rummaged through a chest full of stink bombs, hand buzzers, and other dastardly tricks. “A well placed whoopee cushion at the postgame conference would be classic… but itching powder in his jock? That may be just what the doctor ordered.”

With just a few hours left until first pitch, Brinkley has reportedly narrowed his options to a dose of Ex-Lax in Utley’s Gatorade or an undisclosed mega-prank. “I can’t reveal all my secrets,” he said slyly, “but I’m definitely gonna get him good.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.