Wanna be Jerry Jones? Dan Snyder? Sexual harasser Jerry Richardson? In Madden 18’s “A**hole Owner Mode” update, you can play as your favorite owner and do everything an NFL owner does, from demanding a new stadium to moving to Las Vegas. Owners are the most interesting part of the NFL, because all the stars are injured.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.