Carolina Panthers star linebacker Luke Kuechly has already recorded a pick-six in each of the team’s two playoff games. But Kuechly isn’t done yet—he has his sights set on more. And Kuechly is preparing for the big game by intercepting everything possible.

“Yeah, it’s really annoying,” said a Panthers locker room attendant. “The other day I tried to throw a towel into the laundry basket in the locker room and he grabbed it out of midair and ran around yelling ‘Interception! Interception!’ for like an hour.”

TOWEL THROW

Since the conference championship, Kuechly has intercepted thirteen towels, five Under Armour shirts, a friend’s car keys, a cat that was trying to jump onto a couch, cornerback Josh Norman, a frisbee, a soccer ball, and a muffin.

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - OCTOBER 01:  New Zealand Ultimate Frisbee player Zev Fishman dives for a frisbee during a photoshoot on October 1, 2015 in Auckland, New Zealand. The International Olympic Committee have fully recognized the World Flying Disc Federation, ultimate frisbees governing body, meaning it is now eligible for IOC funding and can compete with other sports for inclusion in future Olympic games.  (Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images)


FBL-ENG-LCUP-MAN CITY-EVERTON

Muffin Interception

“Not only does he intercept things,” Stewart continued, “he insists on ‘running them back for touchdowns.’ If he doesn’t hit an end zone, he just keeps going. It’s fine when we’re in the stadium but when we’re anywhere else it’s a real problem.”

If he does record another pick-six on Sunday, Kuechly will join—THIS IS ME, LUKE KUECHLY. I JUST INTERCEPTED THIS ARTICLE. INTERCEPTION INTERCEPTION INTERCEPTION

Bird Interception

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.