William Southerby of Scraptoft, winner of £100,000 after his longshot bet on Leicester City to win the Premier League astonishingly came through, plans to let it all ride on a three-legged donkey at this weekend’s Kentucky Derby.

“I’m just feeling really great right now, so I figured I’d keep chasing the rush,” enthused Southerby, as he watched his prized hopeful stumble out of the gate during a practice run. “They’re telling me I’m crazy, but would a crazy person have already purchased three mansions with non-refundable deposits? I don’t think so.”

"Just go for it, William!" (Getty)

“Just go for it, William!” (Getty)


The crippled donkey, racing under the name Backstretch Blur, has been given 45,000 to 1 odds to win the Kentucky Derby. With his £100,000 wager, Southerby stands to make £4,500,000,000.

“And when that bet comes through, I’m gonna let it all ride on Kasich to win the American presidency,” said Southerby. “And not John Kasich. Dennis Kasich. My neighbor, who has never been to the United States. 850,000 to 1!”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.