If there’s one thing we’ve learned about LeBron James, it’s that LeBron James always takes care of his boys.

Rumors suggest that LeBron won’t even negotiate with the Cavs for his own deal until Tristan Thompson gets paid. He has employed similar tactics for teammates such as Mike Miller, James Jones, and Dwyane Wade.

You may even recall when The King refused to play in Miami until Zydrunas Ilgauskas received 40 million dollars per game.

LeBron is a man of the people. And never has that been more evident than when he publicly demanded last night that he will not play a minute for Cleveland until Louis “Louie” Grandy, a Cavaliers’ parking attending for the last six years, gets a 4-year, $16 million offer sheet.

The average annual salary (AAS) of this contract would be 4 million dollars, outstripping the current NBA AAS for parking attendants by nearly two million dollars.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.