One day after signing a lifetime deal with Nike, four-time NBA MVP LeBron James has reportedly signed a deal with Wakai (Japanese for “young”), a controversial Japanese biotech company that claims it can extend the life of healthy individuals by up to 100 years.

“I’m proud to join the Wakai family,” James told reporters immediately after signing. “I can’t wait to keep cashing those Nike checks in the year 2175!”

Wakai utilizes a proprietary program of barometric chamber treatments and regenerative blood-spinning that has more than tripled the life of rats and mice in most preliminary lab trials, with minimal side-effects. The first human trials are set to commence in March of 2016.


“This, uh, this was not foreseen in the initial documentation,” said nervously sweating Nike executive Maya Glynn. “We kinda thought this would be a ‘live til he’s 80, maybe 90′ type of deal.”

Nike endorser Michael Jordan was already planning to live forever, regardless of treatments.

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