Following Kobe Bryant’s final NBA game, the Los Angeles Lakers announced plans for a new monument to the five-time champion.

The 11-foot tall bronze statue will feature the Lakers star shooting guard belittling teammate Sasha Vujacic after an errant pass cost their team an important game.


“It’s great to honor the most important parts of his game,” noted Lakers owner Jeanie Buss. “When fans remember Kobe, they won’t remember his killer instinct or his clutch performances. They’ll remember him glaring at Kwame Brown for bungling another perfect entry pass.”

Other NBA teams are getting in on this trend of unorthodox statues. The Boston Celtics will erect a 14-foot long marble Larry Bird lying down on a massage table. The Kings will also be adding a 22-foot tall Rajon Rondo standing, with his hands on his hips, at center court; an optical illusion will give the appearance that the statue is eternally making annoyed eye contact with the refs.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.