Past iterations of the Lakers have had chemistry issues. This version will not. To ensure that Kobe Bryant will have someone to make fun of millennials with, the team has signed Metta World Peace.

The move, made in part to quell Bryant’s anger over D’Angelo Russell’s constant eye rolls, reunites the pair that won a championship together in 2009-10. With World Peace by his side, Kobe won’t have to worry about Julius Randle asking him to join Reddit.


“Last year, when Jordan Clarkson would pull out his selfie stick, everyone would just take it as totally acceptable,” Bryant said at World Peace’s press conference today. “Now I have another sane person around laugh at him with.”

So say goodbye to TwitterGram or Instabook or whatever it’s called now, rooks, because Metta World Peace is back and ready for action.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.