Fresh into his retirement from basketball, Kobe Bryant has become seriously involved in professional ping pong, but refuses to serve his opponents the ball.

According to sources within the pong community, ‘Dropshot Mamba,’ as Bryant is affectionately referred to, has shown similar habits in retirement as during his basketball days, when he was known for taking shots and not passing.

“Initially it was exciting to have him around,” said a top-ranked ping pong player who asked not to be named for fear of retaliation among the incredibly tight-lipped pong world. “But then he just holds the ball and stares at you. He never serves. Ever.”

Despite experiencing a considerable drop in his overall standings due to his refusal to serve, Bryant has said he is optimistic regarding this new phase in his professional sports career, saying, “you make 100% of the serves you don’t serve.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.