As the NBA trade deadline nears, New York Knicks owner James Dolan says that he will consider swapping star Carmelo Anthony for what he claims is a bag of magic beans. Knicks fans were skeptical of Dolan who said he had every right to “do what’s best for the organization. And these beans could be very special.”

“Carmelo has been our franchise player,” said Dolan. “But this bag of beans is very, very interesting. It could be a game changer for us.”

Dolan said he learned about the trade though a “mysterious man with pointy shoes” who others have reported to be Sacramento Kings GM Vlade Divac. Dolan claimed that the mysterious man promised “riches and wonders,” then ran into a hollowed-out tree, cackling to himself.

“It was a productive meeting,” said Dolan. “I think the future of the New York Knicks has become a whole lot clearer today. And I have a feeling it involves a bag of beans.”

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