After Sunday’s game, the anonymous place kicker for the Jacksonville Jaguars casually made comments about how hilarious it would be were his teammates to give him a nickname.

“Just imagine the look on our ESPN beat reporter’s face when she heard you guys calling me ‘Boom Boy’ or ‘Peg Leg’ or,  you know, something really cool,” said the faceless kicker. “I’m sure that would be a riot.”


As teammates ignored him and hit the showers, the nearly-invisible man mused about life with a moniker. “Just think, you guys could change out the name plate on my locker. That’d be something,” he said, unaware that his locker was the only one without a nameplate.

As reporters filed out, the unnoticed kicker mumbled that he would settle for anyone merely remembering his name.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.