Kam Chancellor sealed a primetime victory for the Seattle Seahawks last night when he stripped the Lions’ Calvin Johnson on the goal line. Chancellor, without waiting to see the result of the fumble, walked straight off the field, into the tunnel, and up to the owner’s suite.

Chancellor pushed right by stadium security, placed his helmet on the table, and held his hand out to Seahawks’ GM John Schneider and owner Paul Allen. When Seattle’s top men tried to speak, Chancellor simply cleared his throat.

A standoff lasted throughout the night.

Chancellor was later seen leaving the stadium wearing Schneider’s Rolex and driving away in Allen’s Bugatti Veyron.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.