Uh, hey, man, what’s up? Yeah, I mean, Odell Beckham is cool, for sure. Ha ha, yep, go Giants! Alright. Late… What? What’s that? McSorleys? Now? Bro. I don’t even know you.

Thing is, man, it’s like not really that crazy a coincidence. I mean, we’re in New York City, so it’s like, there’s literally seven places in two blocks that sell ODB jerseys. So like, yeah, of course I’m gonna support the G-men by rocking my jersey over my suit. Yeah, we do need it this weekend…  Uh, of course, I do. Of course I know Eli’s gonna bounce back. Yeah, heh, and definitely fuck the Cowboys.

What? Yeah, for sure I like IPAs, man. But, like, who uh… are you? You’re just some bro off the street who is wearing the same jersey as me. I can’t just be gettin’ beers with random dudes who…

…Uh, yeah, I definitely do want to go to the Meadowlands on Sunday, but like, we aren’t… Wait, box seats? Yeah, I mean, I’ve never been in a box. Mostly just tailgates and nosebleeds, you know. Oh, you uh… You know the Maras? So like, is Rooney gonna be there cause I, uh…

Wait! Wait! Hold up a sec – lemme just tell you, I could tell when I saw you that we were gonna be dudes. Hey. Let’s hit McSorleys, I’ll buy YOU an IPA. What do you say? Bro? Bro! Where you going?! But dude! We’re wearing the same jersey!

God damn it.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.