Chicago Blackhawks star Jonathan Toews soewed a kitten from a certain trip to the groew, when he rescued it from a coew right before an ocean woew arrived.

“My friend Doew was telling me about his foeworite shoewing gel, when we heard a meow,” Toews said. “We had to do something. Leaving her would have been no way for an animal lover to behoew.”


So Toews called his friend Jim Boeheim to help soew the doe. “I’m not sure if she was a stroe cat, but the coach called a ploe and we just jumped into the froe. Thank God she was okoe.”

Toews’ noebor Brett Favre then cavred them a celebratory turkey because, after an adventure like that, thoe were stavring.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.