After learning that his back injury was serious enough to possibly sideline him for the entire season, Texans defensive end JJ Watt carried himself off the team’s premises on a stretcher.

“Coming through, man down over here!” screamed Watt, heroically rushing himself to a hospital.

Teammates marveled at Watt’s ability to carry his own prostrate 290-pound frame, while running at a speed unparalleled by most emergency medical technicians.

“I don’t know how he does it,” said DeAndre Hopkins. “But that’s J.J. He’s one tough dude.”

Watt was then put in an ambulance, which he carried to a nearby hospital.


We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.