Envious of the massive buzz generated by 22-year old superstar Anthony “The Brow” Davis, four-time MVP LeBron James has reportedly gotten hair plugs — both to bridge the gap between himself and the younger generation and between his left and right eyebrows.

“I got two rings,” James said during an interview with SNICK News Correspondent Bobby F., age 10. “Now I just need a fresh look to match my finger bling.”

Sloan Conference statisticians agree that growing a unibrow can enhance one’s Player Efficiency Rating (PER). Sloan admitted that their numbers might be skewed, however, as Anthony Davis has no pre-brow baseline statistics off of which to base their claims.

“Maybe you can call me LeBrow?” James added and then immediately regretted saying.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.