James Harrison has sent a letter to the NFL urging them to make the Eagles play the Super Bowl wearing Steelers uniforms.

“I feel like I was robbed of my opportunity to crush the Steelers and drive them into the ground and turn their bones to dust,” Harrison’s letter read.

The letter continued, “I think that if the Eagles are wearing Steelers uniforms, I will be able to pretend that they are the Steelers and destroy them. And that will be exciting for the fans and everyone.”


“Hear me out,” Harrison said. “What about Mike Tomlin masks?”

Harrison also stipulated that if the Eagles do that thing where they wear weird, creepy masks at any point, that they wear Ben Roethlisberger and Mike Tomlin masks.

Ultimately, though, he said that he understands if it’s not possible to make the team wear the uniforms of a different, rival team that didn’t make the Super Bowl. “Either way, I’m going to tackle them very hard. I am going to run into them full speed with my massive body and d their internal organs into a smoothie of guts,” he said. “It would just be more fun if they were the Steelers.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.